My Response When Someone Asks Me The Famous Question 'What's Wrong With You?'

Everyday I am reminded that I have a disability. I don't see myself as being different than someone else, but other people have a different perspective. Wherever I am, I am always asked, "what's wrong with you?'. I can understand that my crutches and a giant plaster cast on my left leg gives someone the oppourtunity to open up their mouth's to try and start an innocent conversation. It may be a conversation starter for the other person, but for me, it is a slap in the face and completely inapprorpiate. It reminds me of someone trying to point out a giant pimple on your forehead that you tried your best to cover up with foundation. You try to make it invisible so no one can see it, but in the end, it is still visible to others and you feel embarrassed when someone points it out. 

For the longest time I would become so angry when a stranger would come up to me and probe into my personal life because they see I need an assistive device to help me ambulate. There is one incident I was appalled where a stranger stopped my PCA in the middle of a bank, and asked her specifically what was wrong with me. The best part of this all, is I was in front of my PCA when this event occurred. I remember she was saying that she was mind blown that someone would ask this, and she had never experienced a situation like this before. My response to her, "welcome to my life".

I don't have the energy to explain to every stranger what is wrong with me, so I have decided to use humor as my solution. My automatic answer that I have developed, "it was way too much whiskey and I fell down a flight of stairs". If people know me well, they will understand I have loved Jack Daniels since I was in high school (yes I was that weird person), so I think it's a good excuse. Usually people will chuckle when I give this response, and say that it is a good answer, but others will pry further into my life to get details. If someone continues to probe further questions, I will continue to discuss that Jack Daniels made the injury better, as my discreate goal is for the other person to realize this is a subject I do not want to talk about.

I am usually very open to discussing my medical journey with others, but there is a time and a place to ask me questions. It is extremely uncomfortable to have a random stranger come up to you in the supermarket, stop you in the middle of a task, just to ask why I am in a wheelchair. It has taken a long time to process and learn that sometimes people don't know what to say, and feel that asking questions shows they are concerned or curious. I can see why someone would want to ask and inquire, but I don't think people really realize that it can be a sensitive subject.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable going into public needing a wheelchair, as I was self conscious of myself and the disability I have. I was so tired of people reminding me of something I was so embarrassed of.  It took a lot of therapy, supportive friends and family members to help me realize that my disability is actually a gift. I've learned that it doesn't matter about what you look like on the outside, but you must love yourself if you want to enjoy life. Using humor is my way of coping, as I find it therapeutic. I truly believe in this quote; 'laughing is, and will always be, the best form of therapy'.